Dannyboy

I wanted to tell him how he should be
To teach him how they are
How we are
How I am
He was loose and skinny
A rope with knots in all the wrong places
Not being quiet
Not being smart enough
Not being cool
I wanted to fix him
So it would all be ok
So he could be heard
Be seen
Be accepted
But that’s not how it happened
I wanted to tell him that I love him
For who he is
That I love him because he’s my brother
But I had a knot of my own
In my throat
So I kept pushing
Telling him he needs to be like them to be ok
You’re fixing, helping, changing
I kept saying
But I wasn’t
I wanted him to be liked
I needed him to be the same
But that’s not what his scrawny, four eyed, flailing
Body was made for
I wanted to tell him this would make it better
But he needed to tell me that this is better
Glasses on, squeaky voice, tics and all
He said
I AM better.